Junky Learning How To Take Care of Others' Health!

I was pondering in my thoughts today about how my life had became after starting my medical school and really I am quite shocked how unhealthy of a person I became. My daily stress has turned me into a junky person--who basically eats anything that is junky without sparing it a second of thought. My mother calls me every weekend to check on me and of course review my diet (mommy is a nutristionist freak) and spare me couple of advises on how to manage my stress (which never sink in)...but really, is there time for it?? Oh...Let alone my appearance-- I used to be one of those high maintenance girls, who will have to apply 100 layers of creams and make sure my make-up is well done before getting out of the house...but now I am so lucky if I get to comb my hair once a week! I am not even joking!!! Eye liner are applied in case I get puffy droopy looking eyes after longs hrs of studying and sticking my eyes to a computer that is by my side literally 24 hrs a day and has never been shut down since it got turned on during first day of class.


Oh well, just a random thought at a random time of my life-- an excuse to blog to run away from my studying :( Totally bad!!! Bad me!!!

A Post From Moroccooooo

Ahhhhhhhhh no bills to worry about, no morning traffic, no school, no waking up early, ohhh just no stress....I haven't enjoyed Morocco as much as I am enjoying it now. The first second I landed in Rabat airport is the very same second I felt my brain cells getting wider and wider embracing Morocco's freedom. This visit unlike my previous one to Morocco is somehow very unique and special for several reasons. The main one is taking a BREAK from school's deadlines and hectic lifestyle as well as celebrating and enjoying the happiest moments of my life with all my reunited (finally, a long deep sigh) family members in our home country, Morocco.

Tazmamart, A Story of Horror

I watched each and every episode of “Shahid Ala Asr” on Aljazeera channel featuring Ahmed El Marzouki’s, (former political prisoner) testimony of the horrendous 18 years of his imprisonment in Tazmamart prison along another 57 military prisoners, from which 28 only emerged alive…and quite frankly I cannot find the right words to express the mixed feelings I grew inside me while watching and living each and every moment Ahmed El Marzouki was describing about their life and struggle inside the cell.

El Marzouki’s descriptions were highly detailed and extremely vivid to enable us visualizing the brutal life of “cave men” as he calls it in a forgotten deserted that lasted a period of 18 years. It’s extremely hard for me to process it all in my head. It’s just hard for me to believe that such brutality took place on the ground of a country I dearly loved and believed in with every fiber in my heart. No…sorry let me reword it, what’s harder for me is to believe that some people hide beasts inside them that know nothing about humanity.

The 58 political prisoners had no major contributions to the planning of the attempted coups against the king of Morocco, Hassan II. They were following orders and had no preconceived idea they were ordered to attack the king. Even though some of them were sentenced for 5 years only, Hassan II sent them in Tazmamart prison, a prison built specially for them lacking basic means of survival to teach a lesson they never forget.

I highly salute Ahmed Mansur for stepping out to interview former prisoners of Tazmamart and both Ahmed El Marzouki and Pilot Saleh Rachad for their courage to share bitter injustice that took place in now demolished Tazmamart prison.










.

Expecting A Baby!!

Few months ago, it was so easy to call friends and hang out with them whenever we are free from school/ work. It wasn't a big deal to find time. On saturdays morning, we would go to the mall...on the evening, we'll go to off the hookah, or just walk by the beach. We used to do all crazy stuff to entertain each other and man it was a lot of fun. Even though 50% of the girls were married and the other 50% were not, it was never a problem for us to make time for our hang outs. Well, things have changed now... We no longer live in the same place and we hardly keep in touch with text messages, phones calls, or mostly facebooks messages...and my god...most of the girls are married and the majority are expecting already!!!

As I was reading our group messages today about how much we miss each other and how we should get together inshallah...in the back of mind I was saying" y'all sure, we can meet and hang out again, without having to worry about breastfeeding, or changing diapers, or god knows what?!" I don't know how to describe the feeling, but it feels a bit weird to live these changes in my social life. Now, it's all about kids, and it's no longer about single hang outs!

Another thing I noticed, which I found quite troubling is that every time someone gets pregrant, she'll start preaching about how nice to be a mother and how married girls should hurry up to get pregnant too so that all our kids get to play together!

I attended a sbou3 party "newborn celebration in Muslim communities) and there were at least 5 women pregnant, and when they all start talking about kids, everybody turns around and ask me the same question " so what are you waiting for? when is your turn coming?" I mean really how inconsiderate they can be to get in people's business. I always believed that this topic is the most sensitive one ever to talk about because really what if the couple was trying really hard to have a baby and things were just slow, or maybe it will never happen or god knows...do they have to elaborate on their plans?!!

I'm Offended

I never realized that I grew up in a bubble filled with empty etiquette and retarded rules until lately.

They say honesty is the best quality; however, when a one speaks out with all honesty, this latter might be taken for arrogance or even worse, ignorance in some cases. And then they say you cannot be too honest and you just have to go with the flow and make people hear what they want to hear to keep honesty under control, which I just think is pure hypocrisy.
I just have hard time being hypocrite to my own blood!!!

Why Don't You Become A Nurse?

Me: oh by the way tomorrow will be my last day at school because of my school and my traveling during summer.
Christina: so what do you for school.
Me: Medical school.
Christina: ohh wow woman, you will be getting a lot of money as a physical assistant.
Me: no it's not physical assistant it's an MD a doctor.
Christina: oh that's long, why don't you go for a nurse.
Me: well believe it or not I did one year of nursing program when I first started college as an undergrad but I ended up switching because my advisor advised me to do normal premedical studies because my chances of getting to medical school might be low because they don't like taking nurses for some reasons.
Christina: Oh I am telling you should go for RN it's two years and you work at the hospital and they might be paying some of medical school for you. You work from morning until 12. and they give you the afternoon free
Me: But I am already in Medical school, I can't waste another two years as downgrade to become a nurse. Besides that I gotta be full time at school.
Christina: Oh do LPN is only 6 weeks and you go to people's house and you take care of them and clean them and they pay 15 dollars an hour.


Well obviously we were not on the same page!!! But it was a very interesting discussion because Christina was convincing to become a Nurse and every time I say no to a certain type of nursing she comes up with a different suggestion. Something was missing.

Social Services & Child Abuse

I never thought that I could be the type of person who will favor the separation of kids from their parents. I have always thought of American system as crazy when they take kids away from their parents when they beat them. Beating up or disciplining kids with light spanking, few pinches, and sometimes slaps is a normal type of disciplining kids and teaching them good behavior back home country. I never thought of it as something wrong because it does work often times when oral warning doesn't work. However, when physical discipline leaves bruises on the body of the kid then is considered an abuse and that's when my heart shrinks and I start favoring the separation of kids from parents through social services.

Low Score Exam

....makes me sick in my stomach. I feel like a fresh undergrad who can hardly get over her low score of first exam. Expect that this is not my first exam .... I feel like killing and punching and screaming out loud. How can an important medical exam be a matter of luck? I don't get it!!!! How can I be so damn sure about my answers and get shocked with low performance? I am in such a bad mood that I feel early symptoms of depression started overwhelming my body and set of mood. What makes me even angrier is that I cannot leave that stress outside my home. I bring it in and I nag about it. Instead of making dinner I nag about my score.

Desperately Looking For Good Books To Read

I miss reading, I miss writing, I miss a lot of things. My aunt gave me some books to read, supposedly interesting, but did not like any one of them. I found them dull and yaki. By all means, I know they are great books but for some reasons they just did not stimulate my interest. So I decided to surf Amazon in desperate hope to find couple books of my liking. Special thanks to the new feature amazon added to some books, now, shoppers can read first few pages of a book before they decide on purchasing it. So I did that and ended up not liking the books I selected to purchase. Makes it even worse!
I am interested in reading something related to Islam, Arab Culture, Struggle...I don't know something I am somehow familiar with just for a change. But strangely enough, all the books I skimmed through that cover the issuses I forementioned are redundant. All the shit that happened in the heroes' lives is blamed on either religion or culture! What a unique way to make Islam and Arab culture shine nowadays!!!

Medical Malpractice In Morocco

A young woman enters the operations room for childbirth, she undergoes C-section, the baby girl comes out fine, she hugs her very tightly and she sheds few drops of tear from endless happiness. Few hours later, she calls all of her family members and close friends and invites them to a party she plans throwing at home to celebrate the birth of her third daughter.

Sometimes toward the end of the first day after childbirth, the mother starts feeling a sharp pain in the stomach, the doctor does not do anything about it and reassures her that everything is fine and is very well normal to feel a pain. But the pain goes for three days straight until she could no longer tolerate it, and suddenly dies.

She dies? how could she die from a stomach pain? Hasn't the doctor reassure her that everything is alright?? How could she die???? The husband goes crazy almost ready to lose his mind over the death of his wife. The doctor tells the husband that is god's work, and it was meant for his wife to die. The husband insists on finding out more, then he gets to be told that his wife's blood pressure and cholesterol were very high and caused her death.

Husband files a lawsuit to find out more about the real cause of his wife's death; officials tell him it will take some time before they authorize her autopsy. He goes home with his baby, and finds all family members and friends invited by his wife to celebrate the birth of their daughter mourning over his beloved's death...he cries and cries hard, and he suddenly decides to drop the lawsuit because even if they find out about the medical mistake that brought unfair end his wife's life , nothing will happen to doctors responsible for her death.

In fact, the husband would rewarded an amount of money for medical malpractice and case would be closed.... Well, the husband just could not swallow the death of his wife and could never ever imagine himself living off the cost of his wife's life. He decided to bite on his pain, mourn the death of his wife silently, and raise his daughter far away from the drama of unnecessary investigations that would not bring justice to his wife.

Because this man happened to be my father's half brother, I was very outraged when I heard the lawsuit was dropped, so I decided to call my parents hoping to encourage them to convince him to not give up on going after his wife's butchers...but then, I just realized that we have no law that protects patients against medical malpractice.

Furthermore, my mother gave a list of people's names we know that have died from medical mistake. One case made it to National TV and newspapers, but nothing happened to the medical team responsible for the death of that patient. What's even worse, she told me about two cases where the families never found out about the real cause of their sons' death thinking they just could not make it because of severe complications.

Also, I just recalled that my cousin was part of the medical team operating on my aunt, when she found out they left a medical device inside her aunt from a previous surgery she had, which caused her internal bleeding, which in turn caused her own aunt's death. Though her niece, who witnessed the irresponsible work of her colleagues, and son, a lawyer, could have gone with a medical law suit, they decided to drop the case and mourn her death quietly because of the same reason for-mentioned before: in Morocco, there are NO LAWS THAT PROTECT THE PATIENT FROM MALPRACTICE AND NO LAWS THAT PUNISH DOCTORS FROM COMMITTING MEDICAL MISTAKES AND CAUSING DEATH TO THEIR PATIENTS.


I find it very absurd and unethical to not have BASIC standards and regulations for medical malpractice in Morocco, and I wonder if Morocco will ever adopt a law to protect the patient from intended or unintended Medical Malpractice.

2009---New Resolution?? Heck NO!

Unlike the past years, this year I decided not to have any imaginary resolution list period. I honestly don't understand why most people wait for the end of year to come to prepare an endless long list of things they hope (or sometimes wish) to fulfill by the start of the new year?! I personally find it an old Cliche' and frankly not realistic.

I was listening to the radio the other day, and the speaker started talking about her new year resolution and how she wants to better herself in everything, especially healthwise (I'm assuming she wants to lose weight) and made it sound almost a necessity to have a resolution ready to start a better year.

I find it quite ironic to wait until the end of the year to jot down some goals to accomplish in the next coming 12 months of new year. Isn't life called life because of the meaning the word "life" entitles? In other words, an ongoing experience a one gets to live, which makes us learn new things, adapt to changes we undergo....and and and and....

Isn't life all about goals and challenges and accomplishments, success and failure?
Then why do we wait until the end of the year to make a committment for the next 365 days. Why wait for a resolution to be written to realize that we need to start working out more to get rid of the fat that make the belly look like a big watermelon?!
Why wait until the end of the year to decide to change career? Why not live a day by day?

Why not??!